


Laughter

by merycula (thanksillpass)



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 12:17:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1387309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksillpass/pseuds/merycula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He shouldn’t have laughed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Laughter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [clockworkmoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockworkmoon/gifts).



He shouldn’t have laughed. He knows it now but laughing is what he  _does_. He uses laughter like a shield to ward off shame, discomfort, pain. It’s easy to brush off everything unwanted as a joke; with laughter. They will think him silly, immature, naive – whatever – but he’ll be safe. But he never thought his laughter would turn into a weapon that cuts others. It isn’t supposed to work that way. And yet he’s hurt Shin-chan.

He was shocked and embarrassed but ecstatic to a certain point before his common sense kicked in and forbade him from  _hoping_. There was no way Shin-chan could have been serious, was there? It was probably something that Oha Asa told him to do to avoid back luck. So he laughed good-naturedly and patted Shin-chan’s back like he always did, making some lame joke about unexpected boldness.

He can’t remember ever seeing Shin-chan so… disappointed, so hurt. No lost game had ever put such expression on his face. No failure before has crushed him like Takao did.

Takao’s never been prone to self-loathing but now he really hates himself. He acted rashly, irresponsibly,  _cruelly_. God. Shin-chan – uptight, diehard tsundere Shin-chan – has offered himself on a silver platter and Takao might as well have trampled all over him like some unruly  _child_. Fuck.

He tried calling, texting, even  _telepathy_ , but Shin-chan wouldn’t respond, so now he’s pedaling that stupid rickshaw like crazy. His knees hurt but not as much as his chest and the wind lashes at his eyes, filling them with tears. Not that he doesn’t feel like crying all on his own but there’s a limit to being childish, even for him.

He didn’t think past the point of getting to Shin-chan’s house and now that he’s there he doesn’t know what to do. He can’t make a scene in front of such a respectable household, that’s for sure, so shouting Shin-chan’s name until he comes out is out of the question. He could simply ring a doorbell but what if Shin-chan told his family not to let Takao in? Climbing Shin-chan’s window it is then.

“What are you doing breaking into my house, Takao?”

Falling down on his ass with a ridiculous yelp isn’t his most gracious moment but it isn’t his most mortifying either. That would be covered by laughing in Shin-chan’s face right after being confessed to. He scrambles to get up but when sees that Shin-chan isn’t looking at him, his knees give out and he feels like throwing up.

“Shin-chan,” he whines helplessly.

“What?”

What, indeed? What can he really say? That he’s sorry? That he didn’t mean to laugh, that he panicked? Those are all worthless excuses. Does he even have anything else to offer? He didn’t think it through again. What does he even  _feel?_

He isn’t sure because his head had been swimming ever since Shin-chan nodded stiffly and turned around to walk away from him. But he’s prepared to beg, to grovel for the rest of his days, just to have Shin-chan look at him again, even if there’s nothing but contempt in his eyes. He knows this much.

“My patience has run its course, Takao. Please leave.”

“No!” he shouts out in panic. “No, Shin-chan, you have to listen to me!”

“Then speak.”

Shin-chan looks at him then, and Takao’s breath is punched right out of his chest. He looks so sad and Takao made him like this. It’s all his fault and he wants to die.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpers, not able to hold back the tears anymore. “I’m so sorry, Shin-chan, I didn’t mean to, I- Forgive me, please.”

Shin-chan is silent and it makes the rush of blood in Takao's ears seem even louder.

“You laughed at me, Takao.”

And that’s what it all boils down to, isn’t it? He’s hurt Shin-chan and he doesn’t deserve forgiveness. He should just get up and walk – out of Shin-chan’s life preferably, forever. But he doesn’t want to. He  _loves_  Shin-chan.

“I don’t have anything but excuses,” he admits. “And every one is more disrespectful to you than the other. I didn’t think you were serious, I thought you were making fun of me, I was scared of letting myself hope, things like that. I fucked up, Shin-chan. And I’m sorry.”

“What you are saying indicates that you have no idea what kind of a person I am.”

All he can do is nod, because Shin-chan is right. Takao didn’t even  _think_ , for fuck’s sake. Shin-chan would never.

“But then again, so does the way I myself acted. I… ambushed you and denied you the time to… process.”

Oh God, now Shin-chan was  _excusing_  him, rationalizing his scumbag behavior. Takao didn’t deserve it in the slightest. 

“I know why you laugh at things, Takao. I know  _you_. I should have-”

“Stop, Shin-chan. Please. You did  _nothing_  wrong. It’s on me. I know it’s selfish of me to ask but, please, don’t make me feel any worse by making excuses for me.”

“As you wish.”

Takao grits his teeth and finally stands up. He wipes his nose, still running even though he stopped crying almost as soon as he started. He feels like an idiot for refusing his only chance to make things right between them, but he won’t let Shin-chan make it into his mistake when it’s clearly Takao’s. But yeah, it’s kind of stupid – now he doesn’t know what more to say.

“What now?”

Oh, Shin-chan, always to the point. That’s the most difficult question in the world, if Takao’s ever heard one. What  _can_  they do? Forget? Go back to how things were before? He doesn’t want that. Shin-chan actually returning his feelings is a dream come true. He’d never dared to hope for this. And it’s happening, so why does he keep messing it up? Why is it so difficult when it should be easy? He likes Shin-chan and Shin-chan likes him – that’s all there is to it.

He laughs, he can’t help it. He can see Shin-chan is frowning and it makes him laugh even harder. It’s all so completely ridiculous.

“I’m sorry, Shin-chan,” he says, his laughter slowly dying, and hopes Shin-chan knows what he’s apologizing for.

“I know you are. I forgive you.”

Of course Shin-chan knows. It’s Shin-chan. Takao smiles.

“Thank you, Shin-chan. Say, can we maybe try that again?”

“I refuse,” says Shin-chan without missing a beat but he’s blushing, and suddenly everything seems really simple.

“I see,” he drawls teasingly. “Then I’ll be the one to confess to Shin-chan now. Prepare yourself!”

Shin-chan splutters and fixed his glasses. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Aw, Shin-chan, come on, don’t you want to hear me say it?”

“Absolutely not! Leave. I changed my mind. It was stupid of me to say anything in the first place.”

He laughs as he grabs Shin-chan’s sleeve when he tries to get inside the house. Everything makes him so happy right now – the blush on Shin-chan’s cheeks, the crease between his brows, his silly growls as he tries to shake Takao off.

“Don’t be mean, Shin-chan, I thought you said you forgive me…”

Shin-chan stills then and looks at him seriously. It wasn’t exactly Takao’s intention but this works too. Whatever Shin-chan feels he needs to do or say, Takao won’t stop him. He’s done reacting impulsively for today – look at how that worked out for him. He can see Shin-chan is thinking, trying to choose the right words; he can almost hear his brain working frantically. But he waits patiently.

“I do. Forgive you. You know that, don’t you?”

Takao swallows and nods slowly. “And you know too, right? That I love you.”

Shin-chan’s breath catches and his face goes aflame instantly. He’s so cute Takao can’t help but laugh happily. Shin-chan fixes his glasses again and turns around, slowly walking towards the door.

“Well. If you say so.”

“I do! I love Shin-chan! And I’m gonna say so every day from now on, every minute of every hour!”

“Please don’t,” Shin-chan snaps but his ears are burning as he opens the door. “Do you want to come in for tea? Nobody’s home so we can… talk.”

Takao sure hopes that talking is a code for something he’d much rather be doing with Shin-chan at the moment but even if it isn’t, well… Takao can surely think of something to make it happen.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Confession](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2187087) by [half_sleeping](https://archiveofourown.org/users/half_sleeping/pseuds/half_sleeping)




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